The Skiier's Yardsale: A Prewritten Script To Read When Someone Stops To Ask "Is Everything OK Here?"

Everything’s fine! I’m fine! I know this looks like a complete wipeout but I’m actually having a pop-up yard sale featuring all this ski gear that’s laying haphazardly across the trail.

That fall you saw was completely intentional even when I yelled out “holy $%^&$! someone save me!!” and did seven somersaults before rolling like a pinwheel down half the mountain.

So…anyway I have one ski lodged in a pine tree branch over there, and the other is downstream in a brook. I have some ski poles uphill a bit and a helmet here on this mogul. I accept cash only. If you don’t want to buy, kindly move along so the next potential buyer can take a look.